Mental Health + Adjusting to Parenthood
Even with the very best of circumstances, adjusting to life with a new, very tiny human is a tall order.
We tend to focus on the joy that often comes with brining a new little life home, but it’s also common for this time to be marked by intense emotions and uncertainty. Many even experience a decline in mental health and coping, including depression, anxiety, intrusive thoughts, obsessive behaviors or more.
Below you’ll find resources to find support. You deserve to feel well. There is help available.
Key ∅ = no cost | $ = fee-based and/or out-of-network | ⛨ = accepts insurance | ⚕️ = medication
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There is help available, from a listening ear all the way up to hospitalization — you do not need to be suffering immensely to seek help or support. In fact, everyone benefits from more support, not only those struggling with their mental health.
That being said, I often share 3 important markers to tune in to:
🚩 So sad, anxious or overwhelmed that you struggle to meet your own basic needs like nutrition, hydration, showering or sleeping
🚩 So sad, anxious or overwhelmed that you struggle to meet your baby’s basic needs when primary caregiving
🚩 Your emotions are making it challenging to bond/attach with your baby
Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Score: This is valid in both pregnancy & postpartum to assess your symptoms, and help you understand the ways that mood changes can impact your life and your connection with your baby and family. Another way to use this tool would be to complete it regularly - such as every 1, 2 or 4 weeks - to track mood changes over time.
Perinatal Anxiety Screening Scale: Also valid to use in pregnancy & postpartum. Many people who are struggling may be offered the EPDS at their doctors office and think “my score was low, I guess what I’m feeling is normal” but in fact their experience may be more consistent with Postpartum Anxiety (PPA).
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Peer support is pretty much essential in this season of life. There are many general pregnancy + postpartum support groups, but also many highly specific groups that may help you find comfort and camaraderie.
Postpartum Support International ∅ A wide variety of general and very specialized peer support groups, all free and drop-in any time, virtual groups.
Brooklyn Parent Support ∅ $ ⛨ Multiple groups each week. Some free, others paid/insurance, all virtual.
The Motherhood Center $ Pre-register, most are $25 each, virtual
Partnership for Maternal Child Health of Northern NJ ∅
JustBirth Space ∅ Free, virtual peer support groups and classes, some specialized (birth trauma, feeding, etc). English & Spanish.
Golden Bow/Queens Doula $ Closed, 6 week groups, suggested donation (no one turned away). Co-facilitated by doulas. Pregnancy group also offered.
JCH Women’s Center ∅ Sleep Support Circle (0-18 mo). Also offers tons of classes and other services.
Check on Mom ∅ Free, one-to-one peer support and other helpful content and outreach.
Peanut ∅ Kind of like a dating app but for finding parent friends.
*There are many more I can connect you to if none of these are what you need! Reach out!
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Whether struggling or just needing support for the adjustment, there are many therapists now who specialize in the perinatal period. There are also many medication options to consider that are very safe in pregnancy and for lactation; finding a provider who specializes in reproductive psychiatry can make a big difference.
PSI Directory ⛨ $⚕️ This is a searchable, national directory of providers who are certified with Postpartum Support International.
Brooklyn Parent Support ⛨ ⚕️ [NY]
Seleni Institute ⛨ ⚕️ [NY, FL, VA]
The Motherhood Center ⚕️ $ ⛨ [NY] Therapy, medication, day program
First Light Therapy $ [NJ, NY] Specializes in perinatal, fertility & early childhood mental health. Out-of-network or sliding scale. Virtual or in-person (Hoboken).
Women’s Wellness Center $ [NJ] Individual + couples/family therapy
Manhattan Alternative ⛨ $⚕️[mostly NY] A large directory of therapist - inclusive of many identities, races, lenses, etc. 2SLGBTQAI+, trauma-informed, race/ethnic, kink/poly, etc
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Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts by Karen Kleiman: A great, cartoon-based (aka: quick read!) book focusing on common thoughts, feelings + experiences for new mothers. Another version of this for new parents: What About Us?
Postpartum Support International: Extensive resources including a wide variety of support groups, further reading, videos, etc. for birthing, non-birthing, and adoptive parents.
Mass General Brigham: Link to a great video on mental health in pregnancy & postpartum. You can also find other resources and reading on the MGH Center for Women’s Health.
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If you are having thoughts or feelings of harming yourself or your baby, please call 911 or go to the nearest ER.
National Maternal Mental Health Hotline: Call or Text 1-833-852-6262
In English and Spanish
24/7, free, confidential hotline for pregnant and new parents.
Interpreter services are available in 60 languages.Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: 9-8-8
English, Spanish, for anyone (not just postpartum)Postpartum Support International HelpLine:
1-800-944-4773 (4PPD) - English & Spanish
Text in English: 800-944-4773
Text en Español: 971-203-7773
Leave a confidential message any time, and a trained and caring volunteer will return your call or text. Our volunteers return messages between 8am-11pm EST.
They will listen, answer questions, offer encouragement and connect you with local resources as needed.